Black Dress
by 554Laura
Summary: Set in the Roaring Twenties, this fluffy one shot was inspired by a popular song from the 70s. What happens when Seeley Booth and Charlie Burns go undercover in a speakeasy?


_**A/N: Everytime I hear the Hollies' song 'Long, Cool Woman in a Black Dress', I think of a Bones episode. After many false starts, I've finally written an AU story to go with the song, which was written by Alan Clarke, Roger Frederick Cook, and Roger John Reginald Greenway. If you're interested, you can find the lyrics on line. The song is theirs, and I'm sure, since it was written in the seventies, that they weren't thinking of our favorite show. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS INTENDED.**_

 ** _I'm also sure I'm not the first person to write a story like this, but I had a lot of fun working on it. Because it's set in DC during Prohibition and the Roaring Twenties, I decided to incorporate a lot of slang from that era. I think most of it will be self explanatory in its context, but there are many websites that can assist with clarification of the dialogue if necessary._**

 ** _The song Temperance sings is 'What'll I Do', a standard from the era written by Irving Berlin. It's a beautiful song. If you've never heard it, you should check out Sinatra singing it on youtube._**

 ** _Thanks for reading. If you have time to review, I'd appreciate it. Laura_**

* * *

Seeley Booth was aggravated as he drove his Model A slowly through the DC traffic one Saturday evening. He complained bitterly to his partner, Charlie Burns, as they waited for the signal to change.

"What a load of hooey. I can't believe the Boss sent us out tonight on this wild goose chase. He must think I'm a sap, right? Well, that's just bunk. The whole reason I decided not to be a beat cop like my Pops was so that I didn't have to work on Saturday evenings. I've got things to do tonight, and people to see.", Booth grumbled, smoothing the lapel of his black tuxedo jacket and flicking a bit of lint away. "Being a G man is supposed to be high class, right? Eliot Ness and the whole bit like that. I mean, look at me. I'm way too smooth for this gig...all dolled up like this...see, I'm a real swanky fella in this monkey suit, and I'm loaded with lotsa jack..."

"Yeah, sure you are." Charlie chuckled softly, shaking his head as he listened to his partner whine. "I think it's more like you've got people to do and things to see. Whose turn is it this weekend? Tessa, or Rebecca?"

"Neither." Wearing a smug expression, Booth drove through the intersection as the light turned green. "One of my old flames is in town for a visit...Camille. You remember her, right? Damn, Charlie, she's a living doll...and she's got a body that won't quit, and those drumsticks…man, oh man...she's absolutely air tight..."

"Leave it to you to be all dizzy with some new dame." Shaking his head as he snickered, Charlie stared out the window and watched the dilapidated buildings go by. "Someday, Booth, you're gonna find out that life is more than just makin' whoopee with a different flapper every night, you know? One day you're gonna flip your wig over some cute little kitten, and then she's gonna throw you a curve, and you won't stand a chance. Maybe she'll be a gold digger, and you'll be out of luck on a G man's salary."

"That's never gonna happen, Charlie. I'm too smart for that." Booth pointed to a nondescript wooden building on the corner of the next block. "That's the place." He pulled the car into a parallel parking place and got out, slamming the door shut before sprinting to the sidewalk. "I'm just gonna go talk to that copper on the corner over there and see if he can use the phone booth to call the DA's office so we can make sure we're all on the right page about the raid. Then me and you are gonna make an appearance at that speakeasy."

"Like Hell we are. All those goons are just gonna let us go on by, right? We're just gonna stroll in there and make ourselves at home? Listen, that's Big Mike Boyle's joint, okay? I've heard that mick runs all the hooch for these parts here and down west of the Anacostia, too…" Charlie licked his lips nervously. "He's a mean son of a bitch, Booth. That embalmer won't stand for anyone moving in on his territory...we'll probably get the bum's rush before we even get to the door..."

"Yeah, so? Listen, we're just checking out the joint, okay? All we've got to do is pretend to be a couple of cats there for the jazz and the bathtub gin...and maybe we're on the prowl for a doll to have a pet with. Loosen up, ya goof. We're going undercover, that's all. We won't be getting our hands dirty, and we may even get to have some fun." After checking his shoulder holster, Booth pulled out a couple of bills to use for bait. "The gumshoe that filled me in on the goods gave me the scoop. He picked up a small time grifter, Max Keenan, who was begging to cut a deal so he could skip the pen. The crumb said he'd give up the password so we could get in Boyle's gin joint and see what's going on. If it really is a clip joint or a speakeasy, we'll have the evidence we need and then we can call in the cavalry for a raid. What's eating you? That's not so hard, right? It'll just take a few hours, and then I can take Camille out on the town..."

"Well, maybe it's not hard for you to handle, Pally, but I got a kid on the way, and I'm aiming to meet him or her without being all shot to pieces first." Charlie shook his head in disgust. "I don't like it…not one damn bit..."

"Too bad, since that's what we're gonna do. C'mon, Charlie…pipe down and get a wiggle on." Booth said a word or two to the police officer before turning to his partner. "Johnson here says it's been quiet except for all the people moving in and out of that building over there. Let's go see…"

Striding down the street with Charlie hot on his heels, Booth whistled a little ditty as he tried to appear nonchalant. He truly relished this kind of job. He loved the chance to gamble against fate as he worked on a caper. The rush he got when he solved a case and arrested a dangerous felon was almost as exhilarating as when he won a big pot at the card table. "C'mon, Buddy...we're gonna have a ring a ding good time." Holding up some twenty dollar bills, he winked at his partner. "Look, they even gave us some green to spread around."

They walked around the low frame building and found a door facing onto a back alley. After giving Charlie the thumbs up to make sure they were on the same page, Booth knocked... _rat a tat tat..._ and waited for a few seconds.

Finally a small section of the door was moved back out of the way so that only a man's eyes were visible. "Yeah?"

"Max sent us...he said to tell you 'Paladin.' Here's a five spot for you, my good man…" Booth showed the man some money and held his breath, hoping he'd been convincing.

The door opened slightly and a hand poked its way out. "Gimme the five." After a few seconds, the door opened wider. "Have a good time, gents."

"Thanks." The G men went down some narrow stairs and through a short dark hallway that opened up into a dimly lit ballroom. Patrons crowded the chairs and tables that were set up around a large smoke filled dance floor. At one end of the room there was a stage where a small band was playing jazz standards as couples did the foxtrot. It seemed the illegal liquor was flowing freely, so everyone was having a good time, laughing and talking as they lapped up the so called panther sweat.

The agents settled at a table off to the side of the stage, and Booth called a waiter over. "Me and my friend want some shot glasses and a bottle of your best rotgut…" He flashed a couple of twenties at the waiter before nodding at his partner. "Make it snappy, okay? I need to loosen up this killjoy. He's gettin' married tomorrow afternoon, so we gotta throw him a going away party, whether he wants it or not."

"Yes, sir...anything you say. Right away." The young man quickly went over and spoke quietly to the bartender, who carefully looked around the room before pulling out a dark brown bottle. He set it on a tray with two small glasses and then shooed the waiter away.

"Yeah, there we go...some nice bootleg to make us blotto." Booth grinned at the waiter as he came to the table and handed him a twenty. "Check back with us later, okay?" Pouring himself a shot, and one for Charlie, Booth laughed quietly. "Hopefully this moonshine won't ruin our guts…c'mon...drink up. We gotta sell our story about being a couple of swells…"

"I still think you're all wet, but what the Hell." Charlie tossed back his shot and gasped out loud. "Christ...that stuff is nasty…"

"Yeah…" Booth grimaced as he drained his glass. "They shoulda cleaned out the bathtub first before they made the gin in it." Puffing out a sigh, he poured himself another drink. "I guess we can still get fried on it, though...

The agents slowly sipped their whiskey as the combo ended their dance set. Soon the gin mill's manager took the stage, clearing his throat to get the crowd's attention.

"Ladies and gentlemen...we've got a real treat for you tonight. She's a chanteuse direct from Chicago. Let's hear it for Miss Temperance Brennan…"

The crowd applauded as the woman walked up to the microphone. Nodding to the piano player, he played an arpeggio, and she began to sing in a clear soprano voice.

 _What'll I do_

 _When you_

 _Are far away…_

 _And I'm so blue..._

 _What'll I do…_

Surprised that he hadn't heard any lewd comments about the cute canary from his partner, Charlie turned to Booth and chuckled. The notorious big time ladies' man was transfixed, watching the beautiful singer as she stood in front of the microphone.

She was almost six feet tall, with a chassis that just wouldn't quit. The sleeveless black flapper dress she wore couldn't come close to hiding her lush curves, and the short skirt accentuated the length of those beautiful stilts. Her auburn hair was gathered in a chignon at the base of her neck, standing out like a red rose against her flawless ivory skin. And then there were those peepers...a beautiful shade of blue. Charlie grinned as he looked at his partner, who was practically drooling over this newest crush of his.

"Booth? Hey, Booth…"

"Lay off, Burns…I'm busy…did it get hot in here or somethin? Man..." After tugging at his shirt collar, Booth slammed back another shot of whiskey and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Jesus...that is one choice bit of calico, isn't it? She's the berries…I gotta talk to her…I mean, she's just...wow...hey, she just made eye contact with me…maybe she'll come join us when she quits singing…"

"You best just mind your own potatoes, buddy. That's Big Mike's moll, and if he thinks you're making a move on his woman, that'd be the end of you, okay? He don't put up with any shit when it comes to her…so keep your mitts to yourself or this job will go blooey."

"Aw, for crying out loud, don't get yourself in a lather. It's not like we're gonna get married or anything. I just wanna talk to her." Booth nodded slightly at the singer and then at the chair next to him, pleased to see a smile spread across the woman's face as she continued to sing. "She got the message alright. Hey, I may need you to scram, pal. I'm not sure a married fella like you needs to be around a ritzy dame like her…it might make you wish you were single again."

"Har Har. Yeah, well, you're my partner, Boothy Boy, and I'm gonna stick around just in case Big Mike comes home. You might need me to make a pinch on that hood…are you even listening to me? God...one look at a pretty woman and you're a goddamn mess. What about your gal Camille? I thought you said she had it all…you were gonna go out with her this evening..."

"Huh? Pipe down, will ya?" Booth was mesmerized as he watched Temperance walk toward them. "Jesus...she's so graceful, ain't she? So smooth...almost like a sleek black cat…"

All Charlie could do was roll his eyes as he tried once again to warn his friend about the situation. "Yeah...great. I hope you can handle her. I hear she's got Big Mike wrapped around her little finger. She knows what she's doing when it comes to taming a man..."

"Shut up, Charlie. Here she comes…"

Smoothing her dress, Temperance Brennan wore a sultry smirk as she stood before them. "Good evening, gentlemen. May I join you?"

"Uh…sure." Quickly rising to his feet, Booth helped her with her chair. "I'm Booth and this here is Charlie. We're celebrating tonight because he's getting married tomorrow. Wanna have a drink with us?"

Flashing a dazzling smile, she nodded in agreement. "Tell the waiter to bring the good stuff...from Mr. Boyle's private stash. He'll know what you mean…"

"Sure, doll...whatever you want." Summoning the very surprised waiter, Booth asked for Mike's Special before turning to his new companion. "So you're Temperance, right?"

"Yes, that's my name. It's quite ironic, isn't it? The Women's Temperance Union wanted the Prohibition laws to be passed, and now here I am, a woman named Temperance, working at a speakeasy in defiance of those laws." She giggled shyly at her joke. "Of course, being a singer in a club like this is only a temporary means of employment for me. I hope to attend American University next semester. I'm going to be a scientist."

"No way. You're feeding us a line." Charlie snorted in derision. "A dame who looks as good as you is gonna work in some stuffy lab all day? No way. You could grab yourself a big time sugar daddy like Big Mike Boyle and never have to work a day in your life."

"I am not a gold digger. I'm not looking to take advantage of anyone that way." Glaring at the man sitting across from her, the singer shook her head in disgust. "This is on the level. I don't want to rely on a man to provide for me. I'm very intelligent, and I want to be able to support myself, and being a scientist will allow me to do so. Anyway, marriage is an antiquated tradition. Why should a woman have to subject herself to a man in order to gain financial security?"

"Aw, come on, Honey. We don't wanna argue with you." Booth waggled his eyebrows as the pretty canary. "We just wanna have some fun, okay? I'm sure Big Mike gives you lots of simoleans to sing here at his club, right? And all sorts of folks come here to have a drink and listen to you warble…so who cares if he takes care of you. That's just the way it is. A man wants to support his girl, okay? It's no big deal, right?"

"I was hoping you might be different." She carefully sipped her drink before daintily twirling her glass between her fingers. "I thought perhaps a sophisticated, intelligent man like you, Booth, might be more enlightened when it came to allowing a woman to make her own decisions about how to live her life, instead of falling back on the archaic societal conventions which dictate that a woman should marry, have children, and keep house for her husband. However, I see now that I was incorrect. You're just like every other boring man I know..." Placing her glass on the table, she cleared her throat as she stood up. "Thank you for the drink, gentlemen…"

"Wait just a minute, Honey…" Booth smiled as he reached out to take her hand. "I'm sorry if I said the wrong thing. I didn't mean to give you any applesauce. Hey, why don't you sit back down here and tell us about what kind of science you're gonna study…"

"Don't call me 'Honey'!", she snapped. "My name is Temperance." Noticing that the two men were attempting to look contrite, she slowly sat back down. "Okay, I suppose I could have another drink." She paused as Charlie filled her glass. "Anyway, I want to study anthropology…"

"Wait...you wanna be like those fellas that dug up ol' King Tut? Jeepers!" Booth was awestruck, wondering why the beautiful woman sitting next to him would want to spend time in the hot and dusty Egyptian Desert. "I mean, that's great, if that's what you want…" He nudged Charlie. "That's great, right?"

"Oh, yeah...that's great." Charlie slammed back another shot before looking at his pocket watch. "Hey, look at the time…I gotta get going..."

"Actually, I'm more concerned with examining the bones of the more recently deceased. As you know, we still have many soldiers listed as missing in action from the recent Great War, and I'd like to help identify them somehow. I believe their skeletal remains would provide some valuable information in that regard."

"So a gorgeous doll like you is gonna dig around in all those nasty old bones? Wow…" Intrigued with his new companion, Booth leaned closer. "Listen, Temperance, I'd like to get to know you better, so how about you and me...how about we blow this joint and go grab a bite somewhere nicer than this outhouse...you know...a cuppa joe and a piece of pie…I know a great diner we can go to..."

"What about Charlie?" Temperance batted her eyelashes coyly at Booth. "I thought you were celebrating his impending nuptials…"

Glancing at the door, a frightened Charlie shook his head. "Don't worry about that...we've got bigger problems right now. Big Mike just showed up, and he's headed this way."

Standing 6'4" with a shock of bright red hair, the well muscled Mike Boyle was an imposing sight. Add to that the fact that he was carrying a heater, and Charlie Burns began to wonder if he and Booth would make it through the evening without getting bumped off.

"Temperance!", Boyle roared. "What did I tell you about chatting up the customers? You belong to me, so leave the fellas be!"

"I don't 'belong' to you, Mike. I don't owe you anything." Temperance's eyes were blazing as she jumped from her seat and shook her finger at the man. "I can go out with anyone I please. As a matter of fact, I'm going out for pie and coffee with Mr. Booth here, and we're leaving right now!"

"Oh, you are, are ya? We'll just see about that." Pointing his gun at Booth, Boyle scowled. "Let's go, Buddy. You and me are going for a ride…I'm gonna teach you a thing or two about horning in on another guy's dame."

Puffing out a loud sigh, Booth held up his hands in surrender. "Look, this is all a big misunderstanding…we weren't gonna do any necking...I wouldn't doublecross a guy like you..."

Boyle was unconvinced. "Yeah...tell it to Sweeney. Move it…"

Suddenly, all Hell broke loose as the doors flew open. "This is a raid!", someone yelled. Sirens blared as G men jumped out of their Dodge Patrol Wagons and stormed down the steps to the speakeasy. Several shots were fired, and people were trying to get away, knocking over chairs and tables as they ran for the exit. "Nobody move!", a man yelled. "Drop the gun, Boyle…"

Boyle slowly complied, holding his hands up over his head. "Okay...don't shoot…"

Breathing a sigh of relief, Booth slumped in his chair. "Wow...that was close, Charlie…I've got the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it..."

"Yeah...too close for me. I think I'm gonna apply for a desk job instead of staying with this field agent gig. I wanna see my kid grow up." Puffing out a sigh, Charlie drained what was left of his whiskey. "Look, I'm about half zozzled, Booth, so if you don't care, I'm gonna see if I can get one of the boys to take me to the house. I'll handle the paperwork Monday."

"Yeah, okay, I'll take care of things here. I'll talk to you later. Bye..."

Standing in the middle of the dance floor, Booth looked around cautiously, wondering where Mike Boyle's sweet doll had disappeared to. He didn't want her to be arrested if he could help it. Peering through the crowd of police officers, G men, and detainees, he saw the assistant district attorney directing traffic as he made sure all the evidence was collected correctly. "Excuse me, Mr. Graham…"

"Agent Booth...just the man I wanted to see. Great job infiltrating the mob here. I'm going to recommend commendations for both you and Agent Burns…"

"Thank you, sir." Clearing his throat, Booth hesitated. "Listen, I was wondering...did you see a tall woman in a black dress around here somewhere?" He smiled as he looked over the man's shoulder. "Oh, there she is...be right back."

Striding off to a dark corner next to the stage, he found Temperance nervously waiting for him. "I see you were able to avoid getting pinched…"

"I ducked into my dressing room when things got crazy." She bit her lip as she watched the officers swarming the ballroom. "But I don't know how I can leave the place now without being seen…"

"Hey, it's gonna be okay. Don't be scared. I've got everything under control, okay?" He grinned as she slowly nodded. "Just follow my lead, Hon...I mean, Temperance…"

Taking her hand, he led her back to where the district attorney was standing. "Mr. Graham, this is Temperance Brennan. She's willing to provide information about Mike Boyle's operation in exchange for immunity from prosecution…she's no snake charmer, okay? She's on the up and up...she wants Big Mike to get what's coming to him..."

"I see." Graham eyed Temperance suspiciously. "Do you work here, miss?"

"I'm only the singer. I was never involved in the sale of illegal alcohol, but, because I was on friendly terms with Mr. Boyle, I'm familiar with how this place operates, and I know how he makes his illegal liquor."

Holding his breath, Booth stood silently as the prosecutor considered his options. Finally, the man sighed quietly. "Very well. You've got a deal." He reached out to shake Booth's hand. "Just keep an eye on this little lady. She's going to need some protection, and I don't want her to go on the lam before we take this thing to court."

"Oh, believe me, sir. I intend to do just that." Wearing a wide grin, he winked at his companion as they left the ballroom. "So...pie and coffee?"

"Yes, please. Aren't you concerned that associating with a wild woman like me might ruin your reputation?", Brennan asked softly as they walked out to his car. "I wouldn't like that…"

"Well, that might be kind of fun, but...nah...I'm a good agent. If I do happen to get involved with something shady while I'm taking care of you, they'll probably forgive me." Booth shrugged as he opened the car door. "However, you and I are gonna need to spend a lot of time together so I can make sure you stay out of any more trouble." Seeing her grimace, he chuckled. "Don't worry. I'm not gonna cramp your style. You can still be the independent, college going scientist, if that's what you want. Hell, you can even pick through all those old bones to identity dead soldiers for all I care. I respect a smart woman, okay? I ain't no blue nose who thinks a woman is only good for cleaning a house and having babies."

"I see. So that's how you'll make your living now, is it?" Temperance smiled as she climbed into the car. "Taking care of someone like me? I really don't need a babysitter."

"Looks like it, but I bet it won't be too bad. Who knows? You may even grow to like having me around." He climbed into the car, smiling to himself as he started the engine. It was true...he might have to spend all of his time and all of his living on the long, cool woman sitting next to him, but it was going to be worth it in the long run, because this long, cool woman had it all.

 _Yep...she definitely has it all..._


End file.
